Friday Encounter: Gegard the Amazing's Emporium of Magic

A while ago, one of my players suggested that I do a blog post on so-called "common magic items."

My immediate response was "Mike, why in the world would I write something like that?" See, I've been quite outspoken about this. I don't think there's anything that better encapsulates the kind of fantasy I dislike the most than the concept of "common magic items." To me, a magic item should never be common or mundane. They shouldn't be conveniences, and they shouldn't be bought in stores. To do so would be to destroy anything that makes them magic. Magic items should be treasures and quest rewards. Getting one should be a goal in and of itself. They should be special.

What I do like, however, is magic items that aren't there to give pluses to rolls or have immediately useful benefits. I love a good item that can get the players thinking about how it could be applied and exploited to creatively solve problems. The best kinds of magic items, to me, are the ones that don't even have stats, just descriptions of what they do, and it's up to the players to determine how to best use them. The ones that make people think "now, how could I use this?"

And recently, I had the chance to read a couple of posts on "dungeon merchants" from Coins and Scrolls and Goblin Punch. Quirky little NPCs who have quirky little things to sell, thrown into a dungeon, or some other place you wouldn't normally expect a merchant. To me, these two concepts go together like peanut butter and jelly. The only way I can excuse a magic item being bought at a store is if that store is just as bizarre and inexplicable, and if you make sure the items being sold there aren't going to break the game, it shouldn't take away from the items that PCs do need to put in the work for. After doing some thinking on this...yes, Mike, you're going to get your post on common magic items after all.

Gegard the Amazing's Emporium of Magic

This encounter can be used anywhere. It can fit equally well along a road, in a town, or in a dungeon - Gegard the Amazing has a habit of turning up in the strangest of places, after all. It will probably be the most fun if you use this encounter multiple times, using Gegard as a recurring NPC, and ideally having him show up in multiple locations to help sell how he can show up anywhere. Alternatively, you can use the items described here as dungeon loot, or otherwise sprinkle them in wherever you give out magic items.

Gegard Matevosyan is a wayward Caravaneer merchant, and an eccentric even by the standards of the Caravan People. He plies the land in a wagon painted in gaudy colors, pulled by a donkey who he talks to to keep himself company on his long journeys (no one is quite sure whether or not he expects an answer), and can always be identified by the comically oversized turban perched atop his head. Unlike the usually communal Caravan People, he travels alone, but his journeys span far and wide, and he's been known to turn up where he's least expected.

Wherever Gegard goes, he brings his wares with him, selling his merchandise off the back of his wagon. Sometimes, he takes point at markets and fairs; other times, he peddles his stock along the road, going from village to village, and sometimes he turns up with no explanation in the middle of the wilderness or the bowels of the earth. Despite calling himself a purveyor of magic, Gegard buys and sells all sorts of things, showcasing what he has to offer on a carpet laid out over the ground.

Any item listed under Adventuring Gear in the Player's Handbook (or the equivalent in whatever system you're using) can be found in Gegard's inventory, but at ten times the listed price. However, Gegard doesn't actually expect anyone to pay that much for it, and in fact, regards anyone who does as a gullible fool. He will haggle with his customers (this is common practice in the Lunar Lands in general, but especially prevalent in Quel'Ahma), lowering the price if questioned, but never going too low; he insists that he can't give things away for such paltry sums, or his wife and children will starve and he will have no choice but to hang himself for failing his own family (no one has ever seen his wife or children). He is a fast talker and a keen salesman, insisting that his customers simply must have what he has for sale, and tends to refer to people as his friends, even complete strangers.

In addition to more mundane goods, however, Gegard always has 1d4-1 (minimum 1) specials (see below) for sale at a given time - rare and magical treasures encountered in his journeys. He will regale any visitors with their stories and explains any properties they have. Gegard will insist that he is no wizard himself; he only finds and sells these items.

He does have a reputation for trying to spin nonsense in order to con people out of their money - and it isn't unfounded. However, contrary to rumors, Gegard's specials are more commonly real than not. There is a 25% chance that any of Gegard's specials are in fact forgeries with no magical attributes whatsoever. If questioned about this, he will apologize profusely and insist that it was a freak accident that he didn't know about, and that it would never happen again.

If attacked, Gegard will retreat at the first opportunity, jumping on his donkey and taking off via the closest escape route possible, leaving his wares behind. If investigated, there will be no sign of him.

Gegard the Amazing's Special Offers (d20)

1. A miniature clay golem,  no more than four inches tall. It is currently dormant, but if an order is inscribed into its back, it will attempt to execute it. Due to the size of the golem, these orders can only consist of a single word, which the golem will interpret as literally and directly as possible. 500 GP.

2. A small copper tube hung from a chain, containing a scroll with an inscription in ancient Nuwapian script. The wearer is unaffected by disease or ageing and does not need to eat, drink, or sleep, but registers as undead to divine sense and similar effects. 700 GP.

3. A shriveled, mummified hand. "Think it came from a sorcerer. Wouldn't want to run into that fellow! Well, maybe he's not so bad without his hand." It points a finger toward any secret doors in the room. 300 GP.

4. A bottomless bag of salt. Good for repelling ghosts, at least. 150 GP.

5. A talisman in the shape of a hand with an eye in its palm. "The hamsa! Protects against the evil eye, it does!" Grants the wearer Advantage on saving throws against curses and other such effects. 200 GP.

6. A potion that causes one's blood to taste foul for 1d12 hours. Useful against vampires or mosquitoes. 200 GP.

7. A billy goat that can smell gold. "Think 'e used to be a dwarf, before that witch cursed the poor sod." As noisy, smelly, and ill-tempered as a normal goat. 300 GP.

8. An hourglass that remains perfectly balanced no matter what conditions it's under. 200 GP.

9. A 170-pound copper vat containing the pickled body of Emperor Gotthard II of Vardessy, who ruled 300 years ago. "See, 'e died in a war 'round these parts, and 'is men wanted to preserve 'is body for burial. Guess that didn't work out." 750 GP.

10. A skein that could be used to weave a flying carpet...if you can find anyone with the knowledge to do so. 400 GP.

11. A brass lamp with an inscription in Nuwapian script. "I hear that if you rub it while reading the inscription, it'll release the genie inside! Problem is, I've got no clue what it says...what're you looking at me for? I'm but a humble merchant!" 300 GP.

12. A compass that always points toward the nearest body of water. Useful for if you're in the desert. Not so much on a boat. 400 GP.

13. A bridle that will cause any animal who wears it to become obedient to the user as long as it is worn. "'Course, gettin' it on 'em is the hard part..." 600 GP.

14. A lucky platinum coin. Once per day, the user can reroll any roll, but must take the new result. 200 GP. "What do you mean, that's too much for one platinum coin? This one's lucky! Do you accuse an honest man?"

15.  A mummified human tongue that chants softly in an arcane language at night. "Honestly, I don't want this. Take it off me, please." 300 GP.

16. A bomb that reappears in the user's possession the next day after it explodes. 525 GP.

17. An 8-foot length of rope that knots itself on command. 400 GP.

18. A gold cage containing two parrots. They are telepathically linked to each other; one hears everything the other hears, and may repeat it if asked. It may also repeat it if not asked. They aren't the most obedient. 600 GP.

19. A goose-feather quill that can write out a single sentence on its own, if dictated to. 300 GP.

20. A knife that gives off a spark like a matchbook if another item is struck across it. "Got that one off a would-be enchantress who wanted to make a flaming dagger - didn't work so well." 250 GP.